Why do we need powerful transparent and authentic friendships?
Friendships are a source of both joy and heartache. It’s hard building geniune friendships.
Women have a greater need for friendships than men do. Our friendships run deeper. Men like to “do things” with friends. Women want to “know things” about each other. We like to do things together too, like shopping, but we want to talk while we do it!
We do not just grieve for the friendship, but also for the secrets shared, the trust given, and the acceptance enjoyed. If betrayed, the pain runs deep. No one can cause you more harm than someone you have trusted in deeply.
Why we hide behind our mask?
Most recall a time in school when a friend we trusted hurt us. It cut like a knife and that is when it starts – the creation of the mask.
The “you” you are willing to let the world see. We hide behind our masks, thinking we are better off, but we lose so much. If no one knows I’m struggling, I deny them the chance to minister to me and keep me accountable. I lose the good advice of mature Christians, not to mention their prayers.
How it started and however it was reinforced, we want to look at how we can take the mask off and start to be real.
We don’t want to risk letting people see the bad stuff. If we let people see just the good stuff – if we never let them see the bad – we will be accepted and enjoy good friendships.
If you are being accepted by people because of the false front you present – then deep down you know it is only the false front being accepted. The real you will remain terribly alone, and you know it. That is why so many women who we see as “picture perfect” are struggling with deep insecurities.
What does the bible say about friendship?
Before we can allow others to see inside of us, we have to accept who we are. If we are not comfortable with who we are on the inside, we will always hide behind walls. I struggled with having a intimate relationship with God for years. I went through the motions of being a Christ follower but had not developed a relationship with God. I I was all at once deeply ashamed but completely accepted I was amazed that God would love and accept me, just as I am. It wasn’t until I was open and transparent enough to a girlfriend during a bible study ten years ago did I understand the true importance of my relationship with God
God loved me before I ever loved Him. He is the one who initiated our relationship. God did not wait for me to clean up my act so He could love me. I was a rotten person with all kinds of emotional baggage and bad habits!
God looked down on me when I was utterly helpless! And He loved me.
If we can learn to live our life through our Father’s eyes, we will accept ourselves as imperfect people. We will learn to accept others as imperfect people too. We will be able to take off our masks and allow others to do the same.
The Power in Transparent and Authentic Friendships
Intimacy = Into me see.
Intimacy is allowing others to see what is inside. Scary idea isn’t it? Practicing intimacy with others is all about learning to be transparent. The only way we are going to learn to be transparent ourselves is by practicing acceptance of others.