Mother’s Day is a day of celebration. A day to celebrate mothers everywhere. To let that woman in your life know that she is appreciated and loved. It’s also a day that can bring much sadness. Many people have strained relationships with their mothers and days like this bring up reminders that relationships are messy and chaotic. For those who have lost mother’s this time makes that raw pain in their heart come alive again. Some do not know their mother and it’s hard every year to explain that empty feeling of loss and unexplained relationships. Many celebrate while others are alone, lonely, and depressed. I lost my mother when I was 19 years old in a car wreck. I never got to say goodbye. Not one more hug or word of encouragement. Even after 20 years that pain and rawness is still there. I was a young girl still learning my way when the real world came and smacked me in the face. Death became real, life became precious and relationships became a priority.
My mother prayed for my father’s salvation for 25 years. She faithfully and dutifully served her husband. She modeled for me what it looked like to be a bold woman of God, to love unconditionally without expectation, to carry the strength and fierceness of a lion, and above all see people the way God does. In the days after her death, I questioned God. I was angry, hurt, overwhelmed. I thought how could God leave my 13 and 16-year-old brothers without a Mom. Here in that moment of brokenness, I discovered the face and heart of God. I saw the truth of his word, the manifestation of his promises, and the heartfelt words of a praying wife unfold. At my mother’s funeral, my dad got saved. Now, this was no small feat. This was a man who was very successful in his career and thought that all his blessings were attributed to his hard work alone. In that accident, my mother was not alone. My father was driving the car. He sat there with her for three hours before they pulled him from the wreck knowing my mother was with the Lord. He broke both of his legs and shattered his elbow. He was unable to do anything without assistance. This athletic man who was in shape and highly intelligent had to depend on someone else. That is where God did his work. He changed his heart. He transformed his spirit and created a new man. At Charlotte Kennedy’s funeral Bill Kennedy was saved. Her years of praying and sacrifice manifested right there. At that moment even in my deepest pain, I saw Jesus. I shouted, worshipped, fell to my feet, and wept in utter awe of our Savior. There God strengthened my legs, made my back a little straighter, and whispered to a lonely girl’s heart ” I always have a plan. Whatever the devil meant for harm I will make right. Trust me in all you do.”
Those words have comforted my heart in the hardest days of my life. Through the loss of my father, devastation of divorce, and the strains of single parenthood. Even when it’s hard, cloudy and there is almost zero visibility we have to trust him. Trust his plan. Know that he is for you when everything in the world says different. Rely on his word and trust that he will carry you when your legs are too weak to sustain the weight.